Just Out of Reach
by Momma Mustang
Summary: [HyuRoi RoyEd] Hughes isn't there to stop Roy from making the biggest mistake of his life. But then again, that's where one experienced Edward Elric comes in. [Dunno how to genre it. xD][OneShot]


All right, I already know this is probably OOC. And? I dun care much. xD I actually like this one, so if no one likes it, that's their business.

Anyway, yes, there is probably more HyuRoi than RoyEd in here, but, it's my first one-shot /and/ my first RoyEd, so sorry if it's not the best. I really did try and keep them in character, but allowed the emotions that anyone would feel in this situation come out, even Edward Elric and Roy Mustang. They are human after all.

So...there's nothing else to say. Enjoy.

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Obsidian traveled over the white lines, watching them carefully, hawk-like, as if they were going to move the moment his eyes moved away. Perfect lines. The perfect circle for the perfect transmutation. Of course, this was something that he was not about to mess up. How long did he spend, tediously working, trying to make it perfect? He even redid some lines that really didn't need to be redone. They were fine, and continued to come out the same way, no matter what he tried to do. That went on for countless hours, perhaps even days until his back decided that it could take no more punishment.

How many times had he drawn this exact circle? He could remember it as if it were yesterday, when, in fact, it was years ago. He could remember the words he was told, the punch he recieved, the very vow he made...but now, what use did they have to him? The man who said those things was gone now, and there was no reason to bring up his words. They were pointless. They held no meaning anymore!

Pale fingers gripped the piece of chalk in his hands rather tightly, a scowl upon his features. Remembering. He hated it. It only brought him the pain of losing him all over again. He wouldn't allow himself to experience it. Not anymore. No...with this...with this transmutation circle, he could bring back the very one he cared for, the man who gave meaning to his life.

It was frowned upon. Both his feelings, and the transmutation he was about to do. But, at the moment, dear old Roy Mustang didn't care much for what they thought. He gave a triumphant grin, rolling what remained of the piece of chalk in between his fingers. His face was pale, sweat rolling down his brow. The circle was done, the ingredients in the center, all he needed to do was place his hands on the edge of the circle and activate it.

His eyes fell on the woman in the center, a sudden surge of regret washing over him. She was frightened. Those beautiful green eyes that belonged to the woman that Maes had felt most deeply for. The woman who took him away from him...he wanted to get rid of her, so Hughes would be his. So he no longer had the competition for the love of the man who made his life possible. But he knew Maes would hate him forever if he were to see this now, and he liked Glacier. That sandy blonde hair, those glowing green eyes, both things that her daughter had inherited. Maes' pride and joy. Could he take her mother from her, in exchange for her father? It seemed like the right thing.

"Glacier...I'm sorry for this." Roy said quietly, dropping to his knees beside the circle, directly in front of the woman who was bound. He could no longer meet her gaze, no longer search her for the emotions he knew would be reflected in that face. He wouldn't be able to bring himself to do it. He was already having second thoughts. It took a life to create life. So if he transmuted Glacier into Hughes, there would be nothing to it, right? But there were still the unknowns, such as, would what happened to Edo and Aru happen to him? He didn't want to go through the hell that they did. Was it worth it? _To have Hughes back would be worth /any/ sacrifice..._ He decided.

Yes, it was worth any sacrifice. Even his life, if that was what it took. The loss of his life for Maes' rebirth. So many would be happy...Inhaling deeply, exhaling slowly, Roy rubbed his hands together, preparing himself for the reprecussions that were sure to spike from this. Lowering his eyes back towards the white chalky lines, setting the piece of chalk aside and deciding that it was now or never to finish this. To do this before he lost his nerve. Hands seperated, now ready, he started lowering them to the edge of the circle, but was caught off guard by the door bursting open. What the hell...?

In a flash of red, gold and black, the Taisa was bowled over, a red faced young man, soaked to the bone in his clothing on top of him, breathing as if he had just run a mile in two minutes. Roy blinked, having been slid away from his circle as well, no longer able to reach his goal, now concerned about the psychotic one who just broke into the abandoned warehouse and forced him several feet away from his victim and his goal. The Flame couldn't even speak as the teen stood, glaring at him with those forceful golden honey eyes, moving towards Glacier to free her.

Roy had finally realized what had happened, a momentary bout of insanity that took his mind and threw it to the dark depths, before he knew what was happening had dispersed, leaving the frightened man he happened to be when he formed this half-baked plan. Now, he remained laying down, staring at the ceiling with a rather bewildered expression, replaying the occurences in his head. Kidnapping Glacier, leaving Elysia in his home with Rose, the circle, and now...Edward Elric, breaking in and stopping him from making the biggest mistake of his life. For which he was grateful for, but also pissed off about. To interrupt him...

"Glacier...are you all right?" He could hear Edo ask the woman.

"I'm fine, Edo. Is he...all right?" Glacier was more concerned about him than being upset with him about what he almost did to her. That was the woman that Hughes married, the one he loved more than anything in the world, except for maybe Elysia...

"He won't be!" Elric scowled, the gears in his automail fist grinding as he flexed his elbow and wrist, fingers curling into a fist. "Glacier, go on home. Be careful, all right?"

Hughes' widow nodded, taking a final moment, he assumed, to stare at his pathetic form, before her light footsteps moved out of the door, the large iron barrier to the outside world closing with a loud creak and slam. Leaving the Elric and the Mustang to themselves...

"What the hell were you thinking, Mustang! What did you hope to gain!" Ed had returned to Mustang, grabbing him by the collar of his light blue button up shirt. Somewhere in the room his blue jacket had been tossed, it had gotten warm in there, so he discarded it. Just looking into those eyes, Roy knew that he was angry, beyond angry...

"This isn't any of your concern, Edward. How did you even find me? And let go!" Roy reached up to grab the arm holding him, returning the glare to the youth.

Ed only grit his teeth, grip tightening on the man within his grasp. He couldn't believe this. The high and mighty Colonel. What the fuck was going through that head of his, even now! The blonde knew that circle. He and Aru had done it just six years ago. It took him about six months to recuperate. And that was only because he had a goal to strive for. "I want an answer! What did you hope to gain! Who were you even trying to bring back! And using Glacier for your transmutation!"

Roy's eyes fell, finding that he ran into the same problem that he had with Glacier. He could no longer face them. "You're too young to understand, Edward." It was all he could say. Falling to a weakness that Roy Mustang said he did not have...the thought of even continuing with the transmutation and using Ed crossed his mind. But now that he had been foiled, the courage had faded, and no longer did he have the desire to bring Hughes back to the point that he would sacrifice someone else for him. Of course he wanted him back. But he couldn't muster up his courage to try it again. Not so soon. After all the work, all the preparation...it was all for naught.

"Don't give me that bull shit, Taisa, I don't listen to it! What did you hope to gain by killing Glacier and trying to bring whoever -- you weren't..." Ed stopped, his fingers pulling back, the hold on Roy loosening greatly. "You were trying to bring Lieutenant Colonel Hughes back...weren't you?"

Roy pushed Ed off of him, straightening the collar of his shirt and climbing to his feet. He refused to allow Ed to see anymore unnecessary emotions. "I am willing to commit a taboo to climb to the top. My goals are everything. Why are you interfering, Fullmetal?" His voice was even more distant than he thought it would be. However, his smirk returned, though it was forced. He refused to allow /Edward Elric/ of all people to see such a thing from him. He had an image to uphold.

Ed scoffed. "So you want power so bad that you're willing to create a homunculus for it, and command it to do what you want? You're no better than the bastards I've been after!"

Roy turned his eyes to the now scuffed circle, something Ed must have done while he was distracted. "It has nothing to do with a promotion, Ed. You'll be surprised to hear that, I'm sure. And I doubt that you would believe me, but that doesn't matter either. I'm doing it because I need to. He's gone because of me. He was trying to call me, but I wasn't here nor there. I won't simply let this go..."

Ed blinked. This was not /Mustang/. He was a creepy, sad guy who looked like he lost his best friend. Well...technically, he did. But still...he didn't think Mustang could look so...pathetic. Useless. Helpless. "Mustang, do you think he would want that? He wouldn't want you to die for him, to do what we did. I'm sure he spoke to you about it, right?"

Mustang closed his eyes, hands sliding into the pockets of his military trousers as he turned his body away. "Yes, he did. But it was before we met you. I was researching human transmutation, and it turned out that he was coming by to check on me. It was shortly after the Ishbalan war. I wanted to bring back some of those I killed. Mainly...the doctors I slaughtered on mere order alone. But...I was afraid of death. I didn't want to die."

"Of course." Ed said firmly. Who wanted to die? "It just means you're human."

Roy couldn't contain it. His head lifted towards the ceiling, laughing at the words that had escaped the youth's mouth. It wasn't that it was funny. Well, not the words themselves, anyway. It was the fact that they weren't the first time he heard them. "Hughes..." He began when he had calmed down enough to speak. "He said those exact words in reply to what I just told you. In this situation. Well...I don't like being human. I don't like feeling this way. But since I am human, I must be forced to. I don't want Hughes to help me to the top, not anymore."

Ed thought he was insane at first. Was Mustang losing his mind, slowly as the days wore on towards his goal to reach the Fuhrership? He wasn't sure, but who could be, nowadays? Everywhere Ed seemed to go, there were one or more psychotic fools out there, trying to do something that was beyond stupid. However, now it was clear to him. Roy cared about Hughes a lot. More than just being friends. He...loved him, even. Roy was right, that was one thing that Ed didn't understand, and probably never would. Not until he experienced it himself, though he liked to think that he had some grasp of it, though he was still in the stage where girls were pretty, but icky at the same time. Then again, he was forced to grow up in many aspects of his life, so perhaps that was the one that was lagging behind.

Though...this should have repulsed him. Roy had basically admitted that he loved this dead man that he was trying to bring back. This man that who had been married. This man who probably didn't acknowledge it. A /man/ period. But, it didn't. He found it rather soothing to hear, why, he couldn't be sure of yet. "Taisa, I won't pretend to understand all this, and don't say I'm too young, because I have an idea of what love is. But I have a question for you!" He reased his gloved fist, pointing directly at the man who peered at him with that all knowing smirk. "Would the man you love want to lose the man you were?"

Roy's smirk faded. Of all things that he had been expecting and forming answers for...that was not one of them. And now, he had no response for it. No matter how much raking through his brain he did, he couldn't come up with an answer that didn't make him look utterly stupid. Damn, how Roy hated these kinds of confrontations. Ed was actually winning this argument.

"I won't pretend I get it, it's gotta be different from when Aru and I lost our mom. But I don't think that Hughes would want you to change physically or mentally for him, he would want to see you the same way that you were before he died. ...Mustang...he wouldn't be Hughes, though. He would be a homunculus, a blood thirsty tyrant. It wouldn't do any good but to help those homunculi out. You know as well as I do this won't get you anywhere..."

"How did you find me, Fullmetal?"

Ed snorted. That was his question after all the nice speeches he made. Well, hell if he cared. Damn Colonel. He could have at least showed some appreciation for all the hell he went through to get here. He gave a cocky grin, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a piece of paper that had been folded up several times. Unfolding it, the blonde showed it to him in the dim light that he must have generated electricity for.

Roy's eyes flickered to the sheet of paper.

"You told Elysia the same thing that I used to tell Nina about transmutation circles. She told me that you needed her mom to make her wish come true. And Rose said you had a weird look on your face when you left. You didn't even take your gloves. Just the piece of chalk, and a small bag with some rocks in it, I assume. She drew you, the 'wish circle', her mom, her dad, and Rose, all in this picture. What the hell were you going to tell her when her father came out a monster, you lost some limbs or organs, and her mother was dead? You didn't think it through, Mustang."

Again...though he greatly hated to admit it, but Ed was right. Again. No matter how much he wanted to deny it. He hadn't thought of the future. He was so focused on the transmutation, he forgot the vital points in his plan. He wanted Hughes. That was all he could think about. So...he left out everything that mattered. "Ed...would you come have a drink with me?" He asked in his usual tone, as if he were forgetting all that had happened here. Of course, he hadn't, but that didn't mean he couldn't try. "I don't think I want to trust myself alone yet."

The Elder Elric blinked. "Oh...kay." Drinks at his age were illegal, but maybe he wouldn't be caught? He hadn't been curious as to what it tasted like until Roy had just offered it. "Where?"

"We'll go to our favorite place."

""""""""""""""""""""""""

Ed had never been here before, so Roy had to have been talking about him and Hughes. Why couldn't he just /say/ that then? The damn Taisa never could say it simply. Had to make everthing a stupid riddle, no matter how much easier it would have been just to say it straight. Then again, sometimes...that was what he liked about Roy.

Roy sat quietly, pale, still chalky fingers wrapped around the glass, staring down into its contents. It was just one of those things he couldn't bring himself to face. Not now. And facing Edward would mean he would have to face the mistakes he made that night, and it was still much too fresh for him to look at now. "You still didn't say how you knew I was there."

"You wanted to be found. You were stupid enough to leave clues as to where you went. The car parked outside the compound, the jacket outside the door, the lights on in only /one/ of the warehouses. It was easy to tell where you had gone." Ed replied with a shrug, lifting the glass to his lips and sipping at the contents of papaya juice within. It was simple. Roy wanted to be stopped, in his opinion. Otherwise he wouldn't have taken so long to finish it, he would have long since finished it, and would have been on his way with the creature created.

Roy snorted softly, grinning as he closed his eyes, listening to the soft humming of the late night visitors in the back. Ed had followed the clue that he left out. Maybe on some level he did want to be stopped. He was afraid of death, even now. He was good at covering it up, but that didn't mean it wasn't there. It just meant he was a great actor and could mask it rather well, something he wasn't necessarily proud of. "You found me out, Ed. I'm afraid. Happy? I admitted it."

"That's not what I want from you." Ed replied, shaking his head.

Roy sighed, lifting the glass in one hand, the other curling into a weak fist, being deprived of something to hold. "What do you want from me then, Edward?"

Ed remained silent, staring down at his juice with nothing to say at the moment. What did he want from Roy? A thank you for saving him? An offer to help him dry off? A confidant? Ed didn't know what he wanted at the moment. The reason he had gone to the Mustang residence in the first place had faded from his memory with the worried look on Rose's face. "I don't want anything."

Roy grunted, standing up. "Come with me, Fullmetal."

There was that damn title again. Ed scoffed, setting his glass down and standing as well. "What now, Taisa?"

Roy didn't answer, finishing the contents of his glass quickly, stepping away from the bar and going into the back, where there must have been a restroom, the Taisa moving to wash his hands in the basin set out. Ed stood behind him, arms crossed. Why was he needed to babysit the Taisa while he was doing this? Damn it, he could have been doing something better with his time.

Roy gave a small chuckle, turned to look at Ed. "Bored with my company already?"

"Like hell I want to spend all my time with you, bastard."

"Aw, you hurt my feelings, Ed." Another small chuckle, and that smirk that Ed loathed to see, but couldn't see enough of, either. Before he could reply, the flop of his jacket against the wall caught his attention, the weight of the other over him. Honey eyes blinked quickly, staring at the familiar locks of raven hair and the young but elder face of his boss. Was...Was Roy.../kissing/ him?

Just as his mind began to register what was going on, and he actually began relaxing, the Colonel pulled away, ignoring the wet impression on his shirt. He was quiet, not a word was uttered from his lips as they curved up into his grin, hands looping themselves onto his pockets.

Ed was stunned for the moment. He couldn't think of anything to say. What /could/ be said? Roy Mustang had just attached those thin, pale, soft..._Damn it Ed, don't think like that! You don't have time for this!_ However, upon gaining his head, the blush still fading away, the Fullmetal Alchemist burst out into one of his over-reacting fits. "What the hell was that, Mustang! Where do you get off doing that! You some kind of sick pervert?"

Roy laughed lightly, hands sliding inside now. "So. I'll take that as a yes to 'did you like it'."

"What! I didn't say that!"

"But you didn't deny it."

"NAH! MUSTANG!"

Roy chuckled yet again, shaking his head. "I know what you want Ed. It's what every man in life wants. They want someone to love them. To care for and about them. To give them a reason to live. I thought my goal was enough. But I found out tonight that it doesn't work that way. We all have burdens, Ed. Can you carry yours on your own?"

"Is that another--"

Roy raised his hand, however, to interrupt. "I'm being serious, Fullmetal. Can you carry the cross? Or is the albatross weighing you down? My burden became too much, and I don't have what you do. Can you tell me that you don't need anyone, honestly? You'll never hear this from me again, Edward, I don't plan on letting this get out. I need help. Look for it. You'll find the man or woman out there that will help you with your burdens. You just have to open up more."

Ed stared on, listening, and actually absorbing something that the Flame had said. This whole night was highly unusual. He would definitely need some serious help after this. Then...as the Taisa began leaving the room, Ed reached out before he or his pride could stop himself, taking hold on the man's elbow. "Wait."

"Everything I want...it seems to be just out of reach. Just as I think I have hold..." His free hand came back out, directed to the sky, peering at the light between his fingers before he closed them, clenching them into a tight fist. "They elude me, and I hold air. Decide what it is you want, Ed. Then come see me." He pulled from Ed's grasp, opened the door and left the pub entirely, not looking back once as Ed peered after him, confused but no longer focused on what happened in the past. "What the hell was I doing again...?"


End file.
